Wednesday, March 16, 2016

Fear Driven

The Mystery of Fear 

I wonder what has caused Bojangles' overwhelming fears. When I first adopted Bojangles, he would run and hide under my bed at any minor loud sounds and fast actions. As time went by, Bojangles hid under the bed less often. Over the past few months, he has stopped hidding and investigates the noises. Hiding under the bed appears to be the safe place whenever Bojangles is frighten, or threaten. 

The monsters are under the bed
Bojangles Hiding in the Far Corner, Underneath the Bed.
Bojangles becoming afraid appears to be a trend at night while Bojangles waits for his dinner. Last night, when I prepared the dogs' dinners, Sir. Duke and Bojangles celebrated by running around and playing with each other as normal. When I was almost done preparing the meals, Bojangles and Sir. Duke was sitting next to each other peacefully. However, before I knew, Bojangles was running out of the living room, into my bedroom, under the bed, while Sir. Duke watched him. Ryan believes that Sir. Duke said something to Bojangles with a look. Ryan's theory is Sir. Duke gets tired of Bojangles touching him all day and gives Bojangles a dirty expression in his body language and face to achieve space. I am not sure of Ryan's theory, the fears seem to come from the past. Bojangles is happy and out-going all day with me. At night, sounds and people seem to trigger Bojangles' anxiety.

Bojangles has had a rough start in this life. Everything I was told about Bojangles has not been completely true. For example, I was told he steal other dogs' food and I must watch him. So far Bojangles has not stolen any of the other dogs’ meals. He has ran away, and allowed the other dogs to eat his food. Bojangles' fearful actions at night tells me someone was not nice to Bojangles at dinner time. Specially last night, no matter what I did, I could not get him to the edge of the bed. I had to slide his dinner dish to him in the far corner underneath the bed. Perhaps, I made a loud noise in the kitchen that trigger a memory of abuse. Maybe, Sir. Duke did give him a look that sent Bojangles running. Overcoming feelings of fear takes time. Over the past few months, Bojangles has more good days than bad moments. Perhaps in time he will be able to overcome his fears.

When the fears are worked through, fears typically can be overcomed with time. However, when abuse is the cause of fear, the wounds can be so deep there is not enough time, and triggers cannot always be predicted. There are some abusive action that occurred when Bojangles was not with me that will remain a mystery and forever strike fear into Bojangles. I am grateful that Bojangles has a place of comfort and is capable of taking refuge in me. Building a loving trusting bond takes time, no matter if the relationship is with a spouse or a Bully. Falling in love with Bojangles and Sir. Duke only a second. Teaching and training should always come from respect and love. I teach my Bullies how I want them to behave, treat each other, and treat the world. I say yes to the good things in life for my Bullies. Life is what we focus on and how we treat the world.

No I will stay here
Bojangles Looks Sad Underneath the Bed...

You want me to come out
He wants to move...

come out slow and see how safe the room is
He has concerns...

the monster is in the corner
Sir. Duke trying to be next to Bojangles while he looks for his demons...

Iam here for you
Sir. Duke loving on Bojangles...

Kiss me you fool
They are born to Kiss...

Love is a two way street
Bojangles gives a few more kisses before Sir. Duke Leaves. 

Please don't leave alone with the monsters
Bojangels giving Sir. Duke a Thank You Kiss. 

I may see ghost not dead people
Sir. Dukes Too Big to be Underneath the Bed, Yes that is the Bottom of the Bed Frame....

Yep, the monster is behind you
Looking for Monsters, Bojangles?

Thank you for taking the time to understand Bojangles' fears and how Sir. Duke helps ease his stress. Please comment below and share a time that you had to overcome a fear or had to deal with a dog that was fearful. 

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